Five Times Dead and Counting
by ElizaXMr. Spears
Summary: With the normal busy day all the Shinigami have, some just need to take it easy and view the death lists for any errors. Yet, there is one. A name that has been on the list five times before and the soul was always never collected. Five times dead is just too much even for a Shinigami...
1. Introduction

**Introduction**

The rain hit the windows as the sky cried, trying to the clear the grey that blocked out the sun. Ronald was the only one outside in that sort of whether. He didn't mind the water, because he was too focused on the gravestone in front of him. There were no other reminders of him other than Eric and his grave. He was rather surprised his ex-best friend wasn't out mourning since he had only died a few days ago. In fact, no one seemed to miss him and that saddened Ronald to no end. Alan was one of his best friends and he caused no harm to the Library, yet no one remembered him. Everyone forgot. His tears began to mix in the rain as he remembered the good times and the bad times. No one wanted to remember Alan.

Suddenly he felt something drape over him and he glanced at the black that covered his white shirt. "You'll catch a cold if you stay out here to long with no coat." He glanced up at his boss, then the flowers he laid at the grave. "A shame we could do nothing to help him."

"You miss him?"

William nodded. "I do." He sighed and folded his hands behind his back in a respectful manner. "He never caused any problems for me. Never did anything bad to anyone, yet he was the one to…go." He shook his head. "Everyone good always dies."

Ronald nodded and pulled the warm jacket tighter around him. Now he noticed how cold he was. "Mr. Spears?"

"Yes?"

"Will…will we ever find a cure for them?"

"I don't know Ronald. Alan was the first one to contract it and I can't say whether we will find a cure for them or not."

"I hope we do."

"I hope we do too."

Ronald stood and looked at the drenched man. They both were almost soaked to the bone it was raining so hard. "At least you actually care about him."

"What do you mean?"

"No one else seems to miss Alan. They all want to forget."

"Forgetting is their way of dealing with their pain." He ran his hand through his wet hair, pushing his bangs back. "If they don't remember then there will be no pain."

"But it seems selfish to forget someone who only tried to do good."

"I know, but even we are not pure of sin. We do what we think is best for ourselves and often forget about the consequences it will have to others."

Ronald nodded and looked back at the man. "At least he can fly now." He said pointing to the few birds that flew overhead. "He always wanted to see what it would be like to fly with the birds."

"Flying through life without a care in the world, just enjoying what life has to offer."

"Exactly."

"Alan had a lot of dreams and if you have a dream, then try to follow it, grasp it, hold it close and never stray away from it because you will always accomplish it if you try hard enough." He glanced back at the Library in the far distance. "We should head back before it gets late."

"Sure…you think Alan misses us?" he asked looking back at the grave one last time.

"I'm sure he does." He put his arm around Ronald's shoulders. "And I'm sure we miss him."

Ronald nodded and lowered his head. He let himself cry anew and he found it was let everything go. All the anger and pain that was pent up, he was able to let go. He stopped and cried, gripping tighter to William's jacket around his shoulders. "I m-miss him."

"I know Ronald. I miss him too, but…" he sighed, "crying won't solve anything."

"It helps…" came Ronald's week reply.

"I suppose it does."

"…why don't you ever cry?"

William sighed again. "I just feel no need to do so. Even now, I feel no tears. I am sorrowful, yes, but I see no point in crying."

"You really are cold…"

William didn't respond. Instead, he kept walking, Ronald following shortly after, still sniffling. The rain seemed to come down harder on them as the sky shared its tears for the death of Alan Humphries.

* * *

A/N: I hope all of you enjoyed the first chapter of this story. I will apologize now if they are a bit out of character, but I'm trying, okay? So, please enjoy the rest of the story when more comes.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One

A normal day for a Shinigami involved soul collecting and dealing with death and it didn't disturb any of them to see a struggling human. They collected the soul without question, without remorse. It was a job and no emotions were brought into it, except for one. Alan always had trouble seeing a human die, especially when they were struggling to live. He had collected so many souls, but not once had he faced the trouble of dealing with an infant. His parents sleeping soundly, the small child in the crib, Alan starring down at the innocence that he was sent to take. The child was set to die in five minutes from an infection his parents were told was nothing to worry about. Alan couldn't handle seeing someone so young, so innocent, so pure, die so quickly. Shaking, he placed the blade of the scythe to the child's chest…no! He couldn't do it. He couldn't bring himself to do it. He opened the death list and crossed the child's name off the list. Instantly, the name faded and replaced with a heart, meaning the soul had been removed from the list and allowed to live, unlike the skull that was placed when a soul was stolen or never collected. He knew a report would appear on his desk, asking why the child was allowed to live and he knew Mr. Spears would be very angry at him. He had seen the cold man steal many lives away from children without so much as blinking. He had gotten so used to his job, nothing fazed him and sometimes, Alan envied it. He wished he could be as cold as his boss was sometimes so he wouldn't cause so much trouble.

The child's crying brought his attention from his thoughts. For a second, it was nice to hear, knowing he had saved a child from death, but the stirring of the parents told him he needed to leave. In the blink of an eye, he was gone from the house. When he entered the Library, it was pretty much empty, except for a few Shinigami staying and finishing paperwork that was due the next day or it was simply overtime and he knew he was going to get a weeks' worth for his decision. "Humphries."

Alan blinked then slowly turned around, hanging his head not in the mood to face his boss. "…yes senpai?"

"Explain to me why you allowed that child to live."

Alan sighed. "I couldn't do it. I couldn't steal away a life that wasn't even a year old. I know emotions should not be brought into our job, but I just couldn't and I'm willing to accept any punishment you give me."

When Alan looked up, he expected to meet William's cold eyes, but for one reason or another, they seemed softer. "If you were someone other than you, Alan, I'd give you a month's overtime, however, it's not often you do something against the rules and I wouldn't have anything to give you considering Grell's doing all of it for his incompetence."

"Then…what punishment will you give me?"

William handed Alan two death lists. "One is from the higher ups and the other is the one that has been copied and to be distributed. For the next month, you have the job of making sure there are no mistakes and I mean _no _mistakes, understood?"

Alan nodded. "Yes sir."

"Good. Look them over tonight and tomorrow I'll distribute to them."

"Yes senpai."

William nodded and took his leave. Alan looked at the lists and went to one of the empty tables with enough candle light to last him awhile. He was hoping to go to bed, but it was his own fault for not going through with it. Now was not the time to be thinking about it. He needed to focus to make sure. He didn't do something stupid to cause himself more overtime. "Stuck with overtime, huh?"

Alan nodded not bothering to look up at Eric. "Yep, but it is my fault."

"How?"

"I could take the infants life." He answered turning to Eric as the blonde sat beside him.

"That doesn't deserve overtime, but our boss is a hardass."

"He's not that bad, when you don't get on his bad side like you do most of the time."

"Hey!" he put up his hands in defence. "If I don't want to do something, I won't."

"Even if it means getting in trouble?"

"Sure as hell."

Alan rolled his eyes. "You're an idiot, you know that right?"

"I do know." He laughed and stood. "Well, I'm going to be Al. Don't stay up too late."

"I have to finish this, but don't worry about me."

"It's natural for me." He ruffled Alan's hair. "Well, night."

"Night…"

Once Eric was gone, the Library was dark with only his lit candle providing the necessary light to work. But it wasn't enough. Alan always had a candle in his room because he was always known to have nightmares when there was no light. Most of the times he'd wake up screaming because of some horrid monster that wanted him dead. Then came a voice. It was faint, but he could make out one word and that word scared him. It was his name, being said, over and over again, each time the voice got louder and louder and until it was screaming. He shook his head and covered his ears and shut his eyes, trying to push away the voice and the headache along with it. "Stop." He muttered. "Stop, please." He braved opening his eyes and saw glowing eyes all around him. He began to panic and he threw himself back, landing on the floor, the eyes following his every move. Alan shook his head again, but nothing changed. He stood and ran from the Library to his room.

When he fell forward, his head banged against the floor, doubling the many eyes he already saw. "…go away! Please!"

"Alan!"

He shot up from his slouching position at the table. His eyes franticly darted around the Library and his met each one of the shinigami's who came to see what was wrong with him then his eyes settle on his friends and boss "…senpai?"

William set his hand on Alan's shoulder. "Are you alright?"

Alan nodded as he touched the spot where he thought he fell and where he knew he fell. There was a small bump on the side of his head. "No, I'm not."

"What happened?" Grell asked grabbing Alan's hand.

"I...saw these glowing eyes and this voice that kept saying my name and yelling it giving me such a headache. I ran and fell, but…how am I here?"

"You never left." Ronald said.

"I didn't?"

"No. You never left this spot. I came over to wake ya, and you began to freak out."

Alan shook his head. "No. I remember it specifically. I even have a bump here to prove that I fell."

"I'm sure it's from something else." William said before sending the small group of shinigami that came to see if Alan was okay.

Instantly eyes were back on Alan when a small cry past his lips and he threw himself back expecting to fall on the ground, but arms supported him. "You okay Al?" Eric asked helping him to stand.

"N-No! I saw…something, someone, whatever, but I saw something that wasn't part of us."

William looked through the shinigami and saw nothing out of the ordinary. "I'm not sure what you saw Humphries, but nothing is here. Now the rest of you get back to work."

The shinigami left, whispering to each other as others took quick glimpses back at Alan thinking he was crazy. "But there was something there."

Eric pat Alan's head. "Hey, Alan, it's okay. You're probably just tired."

"I'm not-"

"Go Alan. Sleep and rest that imaginative mind of yours." William said collecting the two lists.

Alan looked at the four still left around him until he nodded. He left to his room and sat down on his bed, crossing his arms. He knew what he saw and he knew he wasn't crazy or tired. If he had a bump on his head then what does that say? It said he wasn't crazy that's for sure. Sighing, he lay down and closed his eyes. He didn't hear the door open and close, or the footsteps approaching his bed, but he did feel something running through his hair. "You awake?"

"Yeah." He opened his eyes and smiled at Eric. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to make sure you're okay. You know, after your little…episode I guess."

"Do you believe me?"

"Sure do."

Alan frowned. "You don't and I know you don't."

Eric's frown matched Alan's. "Look, Al, I really want too, but it seems a tad weird. You had a bad sleep with work on your mind and that usually causes some weird shit to happen with your mind. I should know. I had an entire dream about nothing. Literally. All I did was stare at a wall."

"But I have a bump." He brought Eric's hand to his small bump. How'd I get this if I was dreaming?"

"Okay, that's odd, but think nothing of it, okay? Get some sleep and everything will be back to normal."

"…kay."

Eric nodded and let Alan rest. Alan never heard Eric leave or the voices outside his room but even asleep, he could feel the dark shadow looming over him.

* * *

A/N: Well...Chapter 2...I'm not sure where this chapter went, but it's given me a new idea for where this story is going. Anyway, I hope you like it.


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